Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Polygamy alive and well in Karungu

So today stated off like any other. I was sitting in the x-ray department waiting for patients to come. This guy walks in, shakes my hand, and sits down. The first thing out of his mouth is,” You don’t remember me? I’ve met you before.” I was thinking, “No, I don’t remember you. Tons of people shake my hand, introduce themselves, and chat a little. The only reason you remember is that I am one of three white females in this village. I stick out like a sore thumb.”
We make small talk. His name is Timbay and he lives in Karungu with his wife and two kids. He does some kind of work in the fishing business. His father had four wives. The first wife didn’t produce any sons so he kept on marrying more women. Timbay is the 3rd son of his mother; I’m not quite sure what number wife she was. Wow, four wives?! Polygamy at its finest- no wonder the HIV rate is the highest in the region. One man can have two, three, five partners at one time!
Then Timbay starts asking me questions about relationships. Do I have a husband in the US? He says I should marry an African since I now live in Kenya. Great, I know where this is headed…a marriage proposal. But wait, he’s married and has two kids. That’s right; he proceeded to ask me to be his second wife! In total seriousness he wanted me to marry him. I declined (big surprise!) and told him that his first wife would probably not like it. Just then his wife walks into the room and says it is okay if he marries me too! Note: the first wife has command over the second wife and uses her like a maid. I just laugh in front of the two of them. They claim to be happily married, yet, they want me to join them. I tried to explain to them that in my culture and having more than one partner at the same time is very sinful but it didn’t matter to them. Timbay said he would come back again to see if I changed my mind. Great, I can’t wait to continue this outrageous conversation!
A side note: if I accepted his proposal he would have to pay my parents a dowry (a gift of gratitude in exchange for their daughter.) For a woman like myself, with a college education, a suitable dowry would be about six cows, a few donkeys, and some money. Mom, I am sure you would be thrilled to have some cows and donkeys running around in the backyard in Anderson Township!

7 comments:

BBenkert said...

Okay as the family shower coordinator if you change your mind please let me know so I can put you on the bridal shower schedule. Thanks for educating all of us with your knowledge, insights and experiences.
Love,
Aunt Barb

Unknown said...

Obviously, Timbay is not aware of your arrangement with me back in the US. Please tell him you're already promised to a funny, loyal, and educated Asian man named Christian Sese of TV game show fame. I can supply with all the cows you'll ever need although they'll be the kind ground, packaged, and found at Kroger. I know you'd probably prefer to marry Josh Groban over me but word on the street is that he's dating Katy Perry, so you might want to finally let go of that fantasy. This story is way too funny but not very surprising :) I think you might want to consider not showering or wearing deodorant for awhile, maybe that will ward men off. But it seems to me that no matter where you are in the world, men are so drawn to you. ...Frankly, I just don't get it.

Unknown said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA. Are you a Roman sister, or did you just forget to tell him about your husband(s) Josh in the US and that one in Accra that you call your brother?? Oh, Meis, I miss stories like these ones... hahaha. Miss you, too!! Ironically, was just seized, too, a la Tamale guest house, so I was just thinking about you a few minutes ago. Ha. Enjoy those men :)

Unknown said...

...And how funny is it that Christian's more up on the jo-gro news than I?? Looks like that Ghanaian thing might have to be the one to work out, I don't think the more-than-two-wives thing goes in Hollywood...

Anonymous said...

Oh concurrency at it's finest! That's exactly why HIV rates skyrocketed in East Africa...Miss you Meis :)

Sherrie said...

love your blogs, Lauren. When we were in Egypt, we were offered camels for our daughter, Mandy. glad we did not take them

Sherrie said...

Lauren, IHM is following you in the bulletin and facebook. Our prayers are with you. I put in a photo of the hospital. There is an orphanage there too?